Hi Guys,

I have reached a point in my life where I am mature enough to challenge long held views and beliefs. I do not have to just accept something I am given without asking for it to be explained in greater depth.

Challenging perceptions and views makes my life interesting, it's how scientific and other advances have been made through time. It how I like to explore life now as well.

I have tried that recently on this board and found that even the most experience counsellors are very closed. That's really surprised me! I'm a little bit uncertain now how to act on this board because my behaviour is being monitored and controlled within very tight boundaries.

If I want to give an alternative perspective to something posted on this forum I don't think I can now share that view.

That's wierd but ain't it just like lots of life, people wanting to impose their control on others.

(as admin I would like to remind people that this is Martins Daily Dairy and this is his own feelings and opinion and not the views of board admin/mods. Martin is expressing how he has found it here this is his experience and is valid. Martin is not addressing anyone in particular so dont deem as a personal attack although I recognise some people can. With this in mind and recent events I am moving this topic to triggering topics)

well I am all for listening and considering alternative perspectives .. that sounds quite interesting!

I may change what I believe or I may decide to stick with what I originally believed, I may even come back and disagree with you, reason something out or totally agree

..but still, I'd enjoy hearing what you had to say and be happy to listen. I know I am new around here, but I hope you do share your thoughts Martin

Martin - my viewpoint is that challenges are good - diversity in opinions helps us all to consider our own viewpoints. However one thing that I will say is that it is not necessarily about maturity but about state of mind, if we are in a positive, receptive and "good place" our state of mind will allow us to more freely accept and respond to other peoples challenges, whereas if we are feeling vunerable etc we are more likely to close down and "repel" the attack. One analogy is a snail, when it is safe and feels ready to move it comes out of its shell, when it fears attack or needs to be safe it hides inside its shell. There are other sea creatures which react in a similar way.

I agree that challenging perceptions is the one way that people can "explore" themselves and the universe, if we all sat here waiting for something to happen no discoveries, inventions etc would occur.

Martin - it is my belief that you can offer an alternative perspective but as with life you have to be aware that people will "attack" back as well as listen and respond to your views - it has to be a two way process - so you perhaps need to listen as well as "speaking"?

This is just my view point - not sure I have helped at all....

FORD

Martin this is YOUR space. I hear you like to challenge and find alternatives in a way of helping others thats a wonderful quality you have there Martin. I to agree that there is a need within todays society and also owning it within me to challenge as its from challenge that we grow and yes as you say it does make life interesting.

Im sorry that your feeling uncertain how to be on this board and it feels very tight boundaries for you and now you dont know if your alternative views can be expressed.

I also here you saying that this board for you is imitating life in that it feels there is people wanting to impose and control views.

I hope your able to explore more here without fear of reprisal.

With huge respect to your views Martin

Would like to add MArtin that as this space is open for all members viewing you may want to explore this in a more private area or not as other members can also choose not to read your journey here.

I am glad you have been able to express your feelings Martin and I hope that peoples replies help you to feel heard.

Hi Martin,

I'm not surprised that you're feeling as you are at the moment. It's been an interesting time on the board recently and a good opportunity to observe human behaviour. At the end of the day, no matter how much counselling experience people have, we're all still human beings - warts and all - and it's my belief that, when feelings are running high, the bias is in favour of adopting human behaviour rather than counselling behaviour.

I just wanted to say that I feel I understand where you're coming from and that I value your input - challenging or otherwise - and I'd be sad if you stopped being you on this board.

I am taking time out to reflect... it's been interesting.. here are words I have been mulling over...

Hounded?
Challenged?
Attacked?
Silenced?
Avoided?

All things I have been reflecting on...

But also..

Perspective
Generosity
Gratitude
Silence
Listening

but maybe at this time the most appropriate might be..

Gentleness

That sounds quite balanced Martin.

Yes gentleness is a good aspiration sometimes, and often the best (although not the easiest or most natural) way forward.

To me its about standing back, observing and not reacting .. taking yourself out of the situation in a way.

All the best Martin xx

PS: I dont know who wrote the blue bit? but it would have been better as a response on its own with an owner if I may say

I agree Kirsty sometimes as Admin I am called upon not only by others but self to act quickly hindsight is a wonderful thing to have if only befor!! I have changed