I'm writing you this letter to tell you
that I'm leaving you for good. I've been a good woman to you for seven
years and I have nothing to show for it. These last two weeks have
been terrible. Your boss called to tell me that you had
quit your job today and that was the last straw. Last week, you came
home and didn't notice that I had gotten my hair and nails done,
cooked your favorite meal and even wore a brand new negligee.
You came home and ate in two minutes, and went straight to sleep after
watching the game. You don't tell me you love me anymore, you don't
touch me or anything. Either you're cheating or you don't love
me anymore, what ever the case is, I'm gone. PS: If you're
trying to find me, don't. Your BROTHER and I are moving away to West
Virginia together! Have a great life! Your Ex-wife
...

..The saga continues.....

Dear Ex-wife
Nothing has made my day more than receiving your letter. It's true
that you and I have been married for seven years, although a good
woman is a far cry from what you've been. I watch sports
so much to try to drown out your constant nagging. Too bad
that doesn't work. I did notice when you cut off all of your hair last
week, the first thing that came to mind was "You look just like a
man!" My mother raised me to not say anything if you can't say
anything nice. When you cooked my favorite meal, you must have
gotten me confused with MY BROTHER, because I stopped eating pork seven
years ago. I went to sleep on you when you had on that new
negligee because the price tag was still on it. I prayed that it was a
coincidence that my brother had just borrowed fifty dollars from me that
morning and your negligee was $49.99. After all of this, I still loved you
and felt that we could work it out. So when I discovered that I
had hit the lotto for ten million dollars, I quit my job and bought us
two tickets to Jamaica. But when I got home you were gone.
Everything happens for a reason I guess! I hope you have the filling
life you always wanted. My lawyer said with the letter that you
wrote, you won't get a dime from me. So take care. PS: I
don't know if I ever told you this but Carl, my brother was born
Carla. I hope that's not a problem.

ouch